What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
