I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
