we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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