but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
