No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize