There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
