So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
