And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
