Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
