2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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