Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
