When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
