I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize