How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize