All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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