she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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