i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
