So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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