All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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