thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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