I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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