She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize