well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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