So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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