Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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