By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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