He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
