So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
