She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ugly people sure do ruin things
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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