glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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