Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
