when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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