Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
