so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
