what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I understand Curling. That high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
