dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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