Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
