I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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