sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
