You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think my vagina is haunted
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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