were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
