In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
