doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
