I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Randomize
