do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
