My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
