3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
