we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
