Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
