I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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