Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
