She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
