Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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