Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
