I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
