I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
