Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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